The End

When I started this blog two and half years ago, I really had no idea what I was doing. I could barely upload pictures, let alone apply cool backgrounds or import videos. My goals were to find a way to keep family and friends up-to-date on our second adoption and to use this blog as virtual scrapbook, hoping to preserve all the moments I knew I'd never document in a photo album or baby book.

A lot has changed since my first post. We've brought Aidan home and learned to balance the needs of two children with our own. A little thing Chris still likes to call "The Facebook" took off, allowing us more control over who sees the kids' pictures and stories online. Blogging for me has become less of a scrapbook and more of a place to share my experiences as a parent and connect with an amazing online community of mothers I otherwise wouldn't have met.

So today, as we celebrate Aidan's 2nd Family Day, it seems like an appropriate time to write my last post on Creating Our Family. I'll be posting pictures and everyday happenings on Facebook, so follow us there if seeing pictures of the boys is the highlight of your week :) In addition, I will still be blogging over at the blog I started this summer, I Spy A Family. I've so enjoyed sharing a little bit of our lives with you and hope you will all continue to follow along on my other blog.

And since I believe every one of life's milestones should end with a slide show, I leave you with this:

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Rescuers

I'm sure our stuffed animals will be less concerned about being tossed down the stairs now that we have a firefighter and an EMT on site.

Treats

On the way to school this morning, Aidan and I were talking about how much fun we had yesterday trick or treating....

Aidan: 'Member you let us eat candy while we walking?
Me: I remember, that was a special treat.
Aidan: What that candy we eat outside called?
Me: Kit Kats
Aidan: Oooohhhh, Kitty Cats!!! That my best treat ever!

***pause, while angry look spreads across Aidan's face***

Aidan: Hey - why you never give us Kitty Cats before?????

Happy Halloween!

FFF - Best in Show

There's still the possiblity of a snuggly-in-my-Christmas-jammies picture knocking this one out of the top spot, but as of now this is one of my favorite pictures of the year: And this is definitely the best jack-o-lantern the Gorski Family has ever carved...

Chris did scrape out 95% of the insides and performed the actual cutting, but I really credit Aidan and I for doing such an excellent job of scooping out the seeds :)

Favorite Foto Friday - Pony Rides

The boys recently enjoyed pony rides at a pumpkin farm.

True to form, Aidan hopped right on and had to be reminded repeatedly to pay attention and keep two hands on the saddle... While Andy approached with caution and focused intently on holding on tight.

FFF - Winter is worth it...

...for beautiful fall days like this one

Another year goes by...

Andy, I can't believe you are 4 years old today!


It seems like only yesterday we were watching you smear frosting from your 1st birthday cupcake all over your high chair; how can you already be blowing out 4 candles all by yourself? It's amazing to me that when I look at you I see a kid - not a baby, not even a toddler. You're growing up so fast...in another 4 years, you'll be 8 and in another 4, 12 and in another 4....well, I just can't believe how quickly it will all be over.

I thought I'd take a moment to record a bit about who you are right now, in this moment, because I want to capture the details of this time of your life before it passes me by in a blur of trains and cartoons and stories before bed.

So, here's some things about you at age 4:

How we celebrated: This year instead of one big party, we opted for many smaller ones. A few weeks ago, we celebrated with your grandparents, aunts & cousins. After weeks of deliberating w/no decision, Aunt Sandy suggested you have a double theme of pumpkins and candy for this party, which worked out perfectly b/c I found a pumpkin pinata at Target. Despite valiant efforts, you, Aidan and your cousins were unable to break it open, so Daddy did it for you and then climbed on top of the swing set to create the "candy rain" we'd been promising. Post-candy collection, Daddy put the pumpkin on his head and entertained you by running around the yard and falling down. Yesterday, we celebrated with the B family at our house with dinner and brownies with peanut butter whipped cream, on which we put imaginary candles for you to blow out b/c for the life of me I could not remember where I'd put the ones from your party. The B's got you a basketball hoop that fits over a door with a breakaway rim. I have no idea what that means, but the Dads were very excited about it. This morning we made pumpkin pancakes with whipped cream before school and this afternoon we will have ice cream with Grammy, Aunt Sandy & your cousins. Then next week, my aunts and their kids will be coming over for more ice cream and presents. So basically, the entire month of October will be filled with presents and treats, but I think that's fine b/c in my opinion you can never have too many of either one.

Your favorite cartoons: Diego, Caillou and Fireman Sam; thankfully none of them annoy me and Dad too much, though we do spend a lot of time wondering why 4 year old Caillou doesn't have any hair.

Your favorite movies: Toy Story 2 & Cars.

Your favorite foods: Anything with peanut butter, yogurt covered raisins, red grapes and Goldfish. Your are very fickle when it comes to your favorite frozen treats, one day proclaiming cookies and cream ice cream to be your best treat ever and then the next time rejecting it in favor of strawberry or mint chocolate chip. Your devotion to frosting and whipped cream however, is unwavering.

Your favorite books: poems from Where the Sidewalk Ends, especially "Lazy Jane" and "Invention", Olivia, Llama, Llama Mad at Mama, Little Miss Spider, Goodnight Moon.

Your favorite activities: using our suitcases to play "vacation" with Aidan, pushing anything with wheels, taking pictures with the camera Grandma Jean gave you.

The thing I enjoy most about you: Talking in bed every night before you go to sleep. Our conversations cover everything from whether or not you liked what I made for dinner to what a sting ray's mouth looks like. Snuggling in bed and hearing your sweet little voice is the perfect end to even the most hectic days.

The latest installment

"It doesn't sound the same without my sunglasses on." - Aidan, on why he couldn't play his guitar until we found his sunglasses.

"I don't really care for sleep." - Andy, making the understatement of his life a few weeks ago at bedtime.

"The stinging wasp did a battle with Daddy, but the shoe won." - Aidan, after Chris killed a wasp in his room.

"We ate the cake, so now I'm four." - Andy, trying to convince me he turned four the day of his party, not 2 weeks from now.

"I wish I could, but my legs are out of batteries." - Andy, on why he was unable to help clean up his toys.

"Well, I make quite a mess." - Aidan, telling me about snack time at school.

"To infinity and beyond!" - Andy, every time he flushes the toilet.

Favorite Foto Friday - Let's Wrestle!

Favorite Foto Friday - Pilgrimage

Once a year

When the leaves start to change

When the air feels crisp

And players take the field

Chris & I take a grown-ups only trip

To see our team play

Some years its sunny and sometimes it rains

Some years its a victory and sometimes a defeat

But every year

rain or shine

win or lose

We have a great time

(probably because of the grown-up beverages and cigars)

Favorite Foto Friday - Puddle Jumpers

Why is it that when I put on rain gear I look like a shapeless blob, but when the kids put theirs on they look even cuter than they usually do?

Appearing adorable no matter the weather - just another one of the many joys of being young.

Look Out World

Today was Aidan's first day of preschool. As he does with all new experiences, he approached it with enthusiasm. I love how Aidan views the chance to do anything new as a grand adventure. It is without a doubt my absolute favorite thing about him.

With him at school, my trips to the grocery store will definitely be less exhilarating.

Not so long ago, we were struggling to have a family. The house felt quiet and empty.

Now, this is the sound that often can be heard echoing through the halls:



Our house is wild, noisy, overflowing with little boys' toys and a reminder of how full our lives are now.

Its perfect - even though full enjoyment frequently requires 2 Advil.

First Day of School

Well, I won't say that either one of us was jumping for joy, but we made it through the first drop off of the year without any tears.

There was a moment, right before we said good-bye, when both of us were blinking back tears, but since Andy managed to be brave, so was I.

The real test, of course, will be how he feels about going back tomorrow. I'm hopeful we can get through this school year without any tearful good-byes.

Though watching him walk away with his lunch bag in tow really pulls at my heart strings, so I can't make any promises.

Postponement

We've been busy trying to soak up the last bit of summer vacation before Andy's school starts Monday.

Check back then for some First Day of School pictures - I'll be the one weeping in the background.

Favorite Foto Friday - Ingenious

After 10 minutes of spinning in circles like a dog chasing his tail, one of my sons came to me and said "I have an idea! You take a picture of my butt - that's how I can see it!"

Obsession with butts aside, I've got to hand it to that one, he's a pretty awesome problem solver.

Too Soon to Laugh

I just hung up the phone with the sound of Chris's laughter ringing in my ears. My reaction to the news I'd shared with him was somewhat less enthusiastic.

On the heels of their newly won privilege to play upstairs by themselves, our charming, delightful, creative "big boys" decided they no longer require my assistance to change Aidan's dirty pull-up. Clued into the fact that mischief was being made by the sound of giggles of the "I can't believe we're doing this" variety, I went upstairs to discover my children had taken off Aidan's pull-up, emptying no less than half its content onto the floor of my bathroom and were using the knife from their kitchen set and a plastic bat to scoop it up and throw it in the general vicinity of the toilet. Following my shriek of horror, Andy glanced up mid-scoop and said innocently "What Mom? Poop goes in the potty." As I entered to further examine the scene of the crime, I slipped on the dirty toilet water covering the floor and nearly fell on my face. It was then, when Aidan reached out his hand and said "Careful Mama!", that I saw the poop stuck to his fingers.

The next moments were a blur, I think my brain is already trying to block the details from my memory, but I somehow got the kids, bathroom and myself cleaned up just as Chris was calling to tell me he was headed home.

Of course he thought the story was hilarious. He's not the one that had to clean it up.

What I Learned on my Summer Vacation

Aidan successfully uses the potty about 50% of the time, but has a 100% success rate when allowed to go in the ocean.

Andy will sit quietly for 6 hours straight if Deigo's Iguana Rescue Sing-Along DVD is playing on a continuous loop.

Kids get sand stuck between their toes, in their ears and every other place imaginable...as well as some places that defy the imagination.

If Aidan gets salt water in his mouth, no problem, he'll spit it out, but sand is so delicious it's not only worth eating once on accident but then licking off sea shells every time the opportunity presents itself in the future.

It is possible for me to go 7 days without Starbucks...but after my first sip this morning I realized the truth to that saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Favorite Foto Friday - Beach Vacation

Sadly, today is our last day in North Carolina.

Rather than bore you with "we saw this" and "we did that", I'll simply say it was a really great trip and let the pictures speak for themselves.

The only thing I will not miss about Atlantic Beach, NC is the excuriatingly slow speed of the internet. After spending literally 35 minutes uploading these few photos, I just don't have the patience to arrange them properly, so you'll have to enjoy them as is.

Favorite Foto Friday - Milestone

Aidan, 32 months old:

First solo book-reading experience not ending in riped or chewed pages.

Man of the House

Andy walked into the kitchen where I was doing dishes (okay, fine! Maybe I was checking my email) and we had the following conversation:

A: Mom! There is a crab in the playroom that pinches butts!
M(laughing): A crab that pinches butts, that's funny...oh, also don't say butts.
A: MOM.ITS.NOT.FUNNY. Butt-pinchers are very dangerous.
M: Oh.
A: Don't worry, I will catch him, cover his eyes and tell him to shoo.
M (trying to supress giggles): okay. Thank goodness you're here.
A: Yes, thank goodness. Otherwise Daddy would have to come home from his work.

Its so comforting to know Andy is now a qualified butt-pinching crab tamer. That's a load off my mind.

Three Years Ago Today...

Three years ago today, I understood...
why moms drive cautiously in the right lane
why dads spend hours baby-proofing the kitchen cabinets
why parents stand next to their baby's crib just to watch him breathe

Three years ago today, our house...
became a place overflowing with baby toys and accessories
became a place filled with the sweet sound of lullabies
became a place where a family lived

Three years ago today, I realized...
the joy of a baby's smile
the heartbreak of his cry
the sweetness of his hand in yours

Three years ago today, Andy filled...
our hearts,
our home,
our lives,
with love

Happy Family Day Andy! There isn't a day that goes by that Daddy & I don't thank God for the privilege of hearing you call us Mom and Dad.

Favorite Foto Friday - Out of Retirement

I bet when Chris gave him up many years ago, Potbelly Bear thought he'd spend the rest of his days in quiet reflection. I'm sure he didn't think he'd ever again...

...share a boy's dinner...

...or serve as a soft place for a child to rest his head...

...be part of movie night...

...or experience the joy of a really small one's really big hug...

Luckily for Potbelly, even when one particular boy grows up, there are always others waiting to love him.

Best Friends & Worst Enemies

Yesterday, the boys couldn't look at each other without a fight breaking out.

Today, they want only each other, telling me the playroom was for brothers only. Andy did briefly come out to "check on me" and told me "when Aidan grows up he will grow into a mommy-girl and I will marry him and be the daddy-mommy."

Such is the life of brothers.

Fav Foto Friday - The Fundamental Things Apply, As Time Goes By

The movie may have been more focused on kisses and love songs... ...but we've stumbled on another one of those "fundamental", unchanging parts of life...

...as long as there are little brothers, there will be big brothers to torment them.

In Case You're Unaware

Aidan wants to make sure you know they're called thunderworks. It doesn't matter if everyone else calls them something different. Everyone else is wrong. Thunderworks. That's the real name.

I'm envious of my two year old's stubborn self confidence.

You're Invited

To visit I Spy a Family - my new blog!

I love documenting our lives here and this blog will still be the place to come for Favorite Foto Friday, funny things the boys do and the latest in our day-to-day lives. My new blog will be somewhat anonymous, complete with fake names and no identifying pictures, which will give me the chance to write about my experiences as a mom without worrying about the information I'm putting out there for the whole world to see.

I hope to see you over there and look forward to sharing a bit more about our family.

http://www.ispyafamily.blogspot.com/

Obligatory Mom Post

I know every parent thinks their kids say the cutest things & I am under no delusions that my kids are any cuter than the rest, but part of my job is to ensure these things get recorded from time to time.

Here's our latest installment of Kids Say the Darndest Things:

"Holy Smokes!" - Andy's response to seeing fireflies in our yard.

"I take car, buckle up, drive to Grammy's." - Aidan's plan for avoiding cleanup time.

"Good ol' Mick" - Aidan's nickname for his Mickey Mouse stuffed animal.

"Gorilla got crazy eyes." - Aidan's explanation for why his much-loved gorilla is now banished from his bed.

"Sometimes its like a fire hose and sometimes its like a squirt gun." - Andy describing his bathroom experiences.

FFF - Thanks Kate

Got the idea to let the kids paint their bodies after remembering an old episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 where Kate momentarily recovers from her OCD-ness and let the kids paint themselves w/pudding.

I knew all those hours of reality tv viewing weren't just a mindless waste of time! Hmm, I wonder what lessons I can take away from this season of the Bachelorette...

Dinner Conversations

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Other Person Responsible for Creating You

There's lots of talk in the adoption world about birth mothers. The sacrifices they made. The dreams they had for their babies. On Mother's Day, children's birthdays & family days, blogs are flooded w/thoughts about birth moms and the significant place they have in our children's lives.

There is decidedly less said about birth fathers.

I know in our family, the kids' birth moms are part of every conversation we have about their adoptions:

You grew in your birth mom's belly. She loved you, but she couldn't take care of a baby. She made a plan to give you the life she wanted you to have.

We have yet to mention their birth fathers. The boys don't even know they exist.

Its just at this age, I don't know where to begin. Birth moms are easy to talk about, they play a role kids understand (growing a baby in her belly) and in our case, as in many cases, chose adoption b/c they knew it was the only way to give their children the life they wanted them to have. Birth moms' stories are the ultimate example of what it means to love someone more than yourself.

Birth father stories are often not as simple or as nice. I know ours aren't. For one thing, I am so not ready to explain the role a man plays in where babies come from to my 2 & 3 year olds, especially when that story doesn't start w/"when a man and a woman love each other very much...". Then there's the undesirable role, or lack there of, some birth fathers play in their children's adoptions. I won't get into specifics w/our children's stories, but many children's histories include fathers who wanted pregnancies terminated or who deserted birth mothers after learning of the pregnancy. Conversely, there are many birth moms who chose not to tell the father about the pregnancy or her decision to make an adoption plan - sometimes b/c the pregnancy was the result of a casual relationship, sometimes b/c the father is not a good person, sometimes b/c she doesn't want him to try to talk her out of it. I'm not saying all birth fathers are evil or selfish, but many times, as w/our sons', the roles they played are complicated. Its hard to fill a page in your toddler's lifebook entitled "The reason your birth mom kept you a secret".

Yet it is conversation I know we will have to begin in the next few years. Birth fathers are part of our children's adoption stories and I will not make the mistake of thinking the kids will never wonder who their biological fathers are. I will also not omit them b/c it is simpler and risk sending my boys the message that when it comes to creating a life, its only women that matter. Men do matter; my boys need to grow up knowing they will matter to their children. So I'm finding the words to begin the conversation...

Favorite Foto Friday - "Snuggle Me!"

Aidan's new game is to select a target & hurtle himself into said target's arms while shrieking "SNUGGLE ME!!!!".
It is both completely adorable and obnoxiously bossy - much like the child himself.

The Awesomeness of Chris

My weekend away w/the boys reminded me of lucky I am to have a husband who is such a hands-on parent.

Since Father's Day is this weekend and today is our 8th anniversary, I decided to post 5 reasons Chris is a great dad...because nothing says "I love you" like a good list.

1. Whenever he is home, Chris changes just as many diapers, reads just as many books & watches Cars just as many times as I do.
2. Watching a game always takes a back seat to spending time w/the boys - even when its Notre Dame football season.
3. Every night Chris asks the boys about their days and is genuinely interested in what they have to say.
4. Chris is quick to give hugs & kisses and never tells the kids ridiculous things like "boys don't cry".
5. Chris is the king of silly songs and pillow forts.

Chris, thanks for being so awesome. I hope the boys grow up to be just like their Daddy.

Seven

In two days, the boys & I will be leaving on a Grammy, Mommies & Kids weekend getaway (no babies, no Daddies, no pets, no Papas) with my mom, sister & niece. As usual, in the 48 hours leading up to our trip, my To Do list jumped from about 6 items to practically 20. Inevitably in those 2 days I get about 3 things crossed off my list, stay up until 2 am the night before the trip and wind up feeling unjustifiably frustrated that kids require me to focus on them as if its a normal day and their backpacks of fun will just pack themselves.

Not today. Today was different. Today we had Kayla.

I know in my last post I confessed to being a tiny bit anxious about the whole babysitter thing. It didn't help matters much when Dallas called yesterday and said she'd just gotten a spot in a really popular drivers ed program and Kayla would be coming alone for the 1st 5 weeks (I'm sure she's super psyched about driving and all, but she doesn't turn 16 until FEBRUARY and therefore has plenty of time to take a class that doesn't conflict w/my mommy time, but whatever). It got worse when I casually mentioned to the boys that the nice girl from down the street would be coming to play w/them and Andy went pale, asked if I would be there too and then burst into tears when I explained I would be upstairs.

Even though every fiber in my being was screaming "This is wrong, all wrong!" (it felt very similar to this one time in college when I considered buying $200 white leather pants), I decided to go ahead w/it anyway. I was afraid if I didn't I'd end up becoming the type of mom who forces her 12 year old to check in w/her every 5 mins...when he's hanging out upstairs.

So promptly at 9:30 this morning our doorbell rang, I ushered Kayla in and spent 25 mins going over rules, safety precautions and a demonstration how to pin Aidan to the floor and change his pull-up if a person wants to avoid scrubbing poop off the carpet and/or various parts of her body.

Then I went upstairs.

And in 2 hours, I got SEVEN things crossed off my to do list.

Seven.

And Andy didn't cry.

And Aidan didn't choke.

And now the boys won't be required to text me from their bedrooms.

Loosening My Grip

Aidan woke up last night and because he currently has a cold that prevents him from sucking his thumb, I ended up taking him into the guest room to sleep. Long after he drifted off, sprawled sideways across the bed w/his feet in my face, I laid frozen in place on my 1/8th of the mattress, obsessing about a decision I'd committed myself to 12 hours earlier.

Starting this Wednesday, I've hired 2 girls from our neighborhood to babysit the boys for 3 hours every week while I exercise, shower and cross other non-kid-friendly errands off my to do list.

I realize for many of you, this doesn't seem like a momentous event and certainly isn't anything to lose sleep over. Yet I there I was, wide awake at 1 am, panicking about all the things I would have to tell Kayla & Dallas on Wednesday:

• My cell number will be taped to all the phones.
• The kids cannot go outside w/o bug spray & sunscreen.
• Aidan tries to sneak into the woods if you look away for even a second
• Aidan is not allowed to jump off the fireplace, no matter what he tells you.
• Aidan has been known to eat chalk. and flowers. and twigs. and once a lady bug.

....and on and on and on....

As I laid in bed, thinking of the hundreds of vitally important pieces of information these girls were going to have to commit to memory before they could take care of my kids, I was suddenly struck with 2 thoughts. First, Good Lord Aidan is a lot of work and second, maybe this whole babysitter thing is a bad idea, I should cancel.

When asked why we've never used a babysitter, I've always said that it didn't make sense to pay someone when I have 2 sisters, both parents and numerous relatives who will do it for free. Plus, with Andy's shaky sense of security, the sleepless nights and tantrums that follow introducing a new person into his life don't make the few hours away worth it. Those things are both true, but I realized last night there is more to it than that.

A big part of it is that I have trouble giving up even the tiniest bit of control over Andy & Aidan without obsessing over all the things that could go wrong in my absence. What if Andy is too scared to ask to go to the bathroom and has an accident? What if someone doesn't cut their food into small enough pieces and one of them chokes? What if no one helps Aidan walk down the stairs and he falls? What if they don't get tucked into bed the special way they like and go to sleep feeling lonely and missing me?

The thing is, this is not the kind of parent I want to be. I've struggled w/anxiety all my life and its super not cool. I don't want my kids to learn from me that every park is a potential broken bone, that every stranger could be a kidnapper, that every popsicle is a possible choking hazard. Most importantly, I don't want them to grow up feeling that every time they are away from me they are not safe.

So tonight I'm going to finish this post and go distract myself w/a good book. On Wednesday I'm going spend 35 mins w/Kayla and Dallas going over the laminated child care instructions I will no doubt create tomorrow and then I'm going to take a deep breathe and head down to the basement to reacquaint myself w/the elliptical while two very capable girls feed my kids a snack.

Maybe in a few weeks I'll even make myself leave the house while they're here :)

FFF - Reindeer Games

There is a 97% chance you are getting a preview of this year's Christmas card because come December they seem to develop an allergy to wearing anything holiday related and smiling at the same time.


I guess that's fine - people in the tropics wear short sleeves in their holiday pictures, right?

Favorite Foto Friday - Do you behave in Church?

If so, you can join us for donut Sunday.

Clothing optional.