5 Reasons

Longtime followers of this blog are well aware that I love lists and ranking systems in general.

Honor rolls.
People Magazine's Most Beautiful People.
New York Times Best Seller Lists.
The game where I make Chris list the top 5 reasons he loves me.

These things make my heart smile.

It should come as no surprise then to hear that as a child I was obsessed w/which one of us kids my parents liked best. Of course when asked they always claimed not to have a favorite, but my sisters & I are so different - I'm the bookworm, Sandy's the social butterfly and Jen's the athlete. How was it possible to love us equally? It seemed rather unlikely. In fact, it sounded about as plausible as someone claiming they liked that goody-two-shoes Brendan just as much as Dylan and didn't care who Kelly chose (FYI original 902010 writers - Kelly's "I choose me" was super lame & in no way a victory for feminists).

Well into adulthood I held onto the belief that all parents secretly have a favorite child. In fact, one of my biggest concerns when we decided to adopt a second baby was that I would like one better than the other. I couldn't imagine loving anyone more than Andy; what if I resented Aidan for changing the dynamics of our relationship? What if Andy's two year old tantrums suddenly made him seem like a demon child next to Aidan's sweet baby giggles? What if no matter how hard I tried, the one I liked less knew it? Even as I drove to the airport to meet Aidan, the fear that I wouldn't be capable of loving two children equally bounced around in my head.

So today when Andy, the child who loves schedules and lists even more than I do, crawled into my lap and asked "Mom, who do you like best, me or my brother Aidan?", I was so relieved to find that I could truthfully reply "I love you both the same". And because I can understand his need to put everything in its place, I know that answer didn't quite satisfy him. So Andy, when you read this, here's a way of answering your question that might make sense to you:

Five Reasons I Love Andy

1. I love that when I put on a dress or paint my nails you tell me "You look beautiful Mommy!".
2. I love that when Aidan is uncharacteristically quiet you notice and stop to give him a hug and whisper "You alright buddy?".
3. I love that when you find a spider in the house you lay down next to him and ask where he is going.
4. I love that when I drop you off at school, you give me a shaky smile and say "I'll be brave" even though I know the thought of staying there w/o me terrifies you.
5. I love that when we make cookies, you always find the best one and ask me to save it for Daddy.

Five Reasons I Love Aidan

1. I love that no matter how steep the slide or high the ladder, you're always up for the challenge.
2. I love that you hit the ground running every morning and don't slow down until you close your eyes at night.
3. I love that you are as rough and tumble as they come, but every now and then you will randomly stop what you are doing and give me a hug.
4. I love that your favorite part of reading books every night is pointing out all the pages you ripped or chewed.
5. I love that you offer Andy your most prized possession, your blankie, when you know he's sad.

Boys, I hope as you grow up you never feel that the characteristics that make you different from each other, that make you unique, somehow make me like one of you less. I hope that I'm able to show you that parents don't have a finite amount of love that must be divided amoung their children. At the very least, I hope that someday you will cuddle your own babies in your arms and realize how very truthful I was being when I said "I love you both the same."